Sensitivity Training, Or What Not to Say to Families Dealing With Strabismus

Quick little vent today.

First, yes, my boy is healthy and happy. The diagnosis of double strabismus and accommodative esotropia is not a death sentence. We're very, very blessed with two healthy children and love them beyond life itself.

However, can I just say how disappointing it is that people -- the general public, friends, family -- don't get how upsetting this diagnosis can be? People hear, "Well, he has strabismus and will have to wear glasses to correct it" and respond with the following sensitivity-challenged comments: 

• "Oh, is that all?"
• "Well, I wear glasses, he'll be ok." 
• "If that's the worst thing to happen to you consider yourselves lucky."
• (Silence -- this may be the worst of them all, when people ignore your concerns altogether.)

I get that 99% of society doesn't understand strabismus -- we didn't either until a month ago. But making my son wear glasses to correct strabismus (and prevent ambylopia, and prevent blindness...) is not as simple as putting a Band-Aid on a scraped knee.

As the pediatric ophthalmologist has explained, putting glasses on my son is ONE approach to fixing his eyes. It's the very first itty-bitty baby step in a lifelong vision challenge.

Am I being dramatic? Sadly, no. If the glasses don't work, do we move to multiple surgeries? Are people so jaded that they think surgeries themselves aren't a big deal or do they think issues affecting the eyes are not a very big deal?

It's just vision, after all, no need to be dramatic...really, who needs those pesky and overrated skills like depth perception (sarcasm).

This is my kid, and it's his life stretched out ahead of him, and it hurts. People don't mean to be insensitive, but boy, how they act otherwise.

*sigh*

Better replies would include the following:

• "You must be worried, no parent wants anything wrong with their baby."
• "I'm so sorry. I'm always here to listen and offer support." 
• "Sounds like this will be a challenge for baby B. What are your biggest worries?" 
• "If strabismus affects B's ability to read or play sports, I have faith he will excel in so many other creative and athletic ways!"

What's the craziest or most insensitive comment you've ever heard? What's been the most compassionate?